she'll get cancer.

she's got everybody talking
in circles, cropped to fit
thigh highs, check the stock and
tell me it's not low, tell me you didn't win.

a lightyear is a unit of distance, not time.

screaming songs
I scream along
irony, talking steep
in the privacy
of conspiracy

Undermedicated, tick tick tick
I watch the back of your eyelids too,
when I don't do
too much
In the privacy of conspiracy

we're already through the looking glass anyway

count seven
count over seven
on your big hands
undulate, over and under
underestimate exhaustion
in sinking sands
what if you were my man?
what if you were my man?

four fingers
i failed that class
but it's raining salt on dry land
my nightmares
fire bibles, motorcycles
no one can wake me like you can.
what if you were my man?
what if you were my man?

the longing,
and the longest winter
may kill off our favorite bands
why seek
when you could quit quitting or beginning?
why wave when you've a number one fan?
what if you were my man?
what if you were my man?

i would never
stitch my name next to yours
although it sounds so nice
on my tongue
well said, steadfast and said and done
but i know you picture me in white

rsvp

i could kinda see you at the cigarette party
weaving through the lovers and lighting everybody
pretentious never looked so sweet

swimming through the haze at the cigarette party
i'm not me when you're around
my black lung when we separate the sounds
see, this is everything to me.

30 feet.

Must you hold her hand like that
the one without the ring?
When the moon wishes she were candles, lights
you're holding onto nothing.

Must you hold her hand like that?
It's blood diamond clear
she's the angel in your snow
all cut up on the mirror

I pity the bones in her fingers
crushed like when she learns
your letting go is not the wind
you're always lit, you always burn

Must you hold her hand like that
for all of thirty feet?
If you don't want them looking
I'd quit looking at me.

lucid

I had a dream I waited it out
and saw your name in candy floss clouds
Every husband in the city
had come face to face
with his promises.
I had a dream you summoned me
I climbed you like an apple tree
our lovers shook hands by the river
longed to be desired once more
and started diving.
I hate the morning.

Miles Davis made a mistake.

I would keep walking
I do not recognize myself
I do not need your tongue
to push it in, point it out.

the lovers.

he said
"I don't think about her enough
to breathe in time
with predictable blue sighs.
when my right brain
wants the wrong thing."

she said
"I don't think I like you enough
to hold my tongue
to let you hold me when we're done
doing the only thing you're
half good for"

I'm sure she's well nice.

sometimes we love all that we shouldn't
write me a record of all that you couldn't
and leave paper hearts in your mailbox
as if to thank
the bills you don't pay

cuz we all know your spine is unravelling, lacking
that sense of desire that's been putting off packing
and swallowing bathwater perfect
never translates right
it's like stress, but you know what that's like

and the blinds
and the snow
hollow you out
so would you come out tonight?
and the talk
set aside
looks like the city does
from where we would hide
but don't you go thinking she
wouldn't be
smaller than yours.

I've got a way of detoxing with acid rain
you got away in your tuxedo cellophane
I'm all loving, but you don't know my g-d
I know sleep talking bliss
psychics and Freud over breakfast

and the blinds
and the snow
hollow you out
so would you come out tonight?
and the talk
set aside
looks like the city does
from where we would hide
but don't you go thinking she
wouldn't be
smaller than yours.
I'm sure she's well nice
but you know that ours would be
smaller than smaller than yours.

jazz

these must be my roots
aren't i to be
poisoning myself
after loving?
but not a spider,
my honey bee
I will be sixteen
I will let this destroy me
these days it doesn't take much
the pipes are cold
it's there should we be out of breath
demolished,
the waves all crash
who am i to be
when you don't belong to me?

fuck the dealer

found you
i found you sweet
likewise, you nodded
but not off
you admit defeat
the ashtray, pass it to me.

they'll write a thesis
on what's going on
thank g-d it's not a tragedy
i'd rather not a love song
so could you please
just pass it to me.

i waited, like a lady should.
and i know i haven't been that good.
if i didn't answer me, i would.
everything ends in G

put you in the mirror

It is said
more oftan than Hail Mary
the most loyal of lovers

after hearts and keys exchanged
start looking like each other

Shame cries
and looks down at my hands
I wish you'd have phoned

and that I didn't kiss elsewhere
you have lovely bones

I always had a light.

When I smoked
in fashions high
a deadly way
to justify
the pendulum
the swirling mess
I don't believe
but still confess
I'm getting more
than I lead on
I paint myself
a drowsy fawn
I wrote it down
but never said
I'd meet your mother,
wash your dreads

You Should Stay.

Everytime the terror names
of warm or sleeping cities
swim off your drunken tongue
and into the smoke
like fairies on ketamine
or a victory,
I want to catch them on mine
so they can hibernate
in my veins, too
I think I hate the thought
of you leaving town without me.

but what we need.

I want to pull his hair
I want to stand beside him and compare our heights
His bed may not be so cold
but I'm not throwing rocks at night.
I want to feast on him
I want to cut him open and touch inside
and since you went and left town,
I'm not sure what's wrong or right.
so I'll talk to you later.
My red hands are a little tied.

yellow boys.

Left you out all winter
with the cactus
like a bad trip
paid the girl and laid like bricks
silver splinters look like glitter
call your boss
say you got lost
can't call in sick if you can't be fixed
thinking you might get some sleep
you made a tomb of yellow leaves
blind drunk you can't read the key
your heart is a liar, the stars deceive
but don't look at me
I'll look your way and lick your teeth
your boxer, doctor, lucky charm
lit up like a red light on
kiss you til you turn to blue but don't ask me
i'm all wrong if it's the right answers that you need

I don't want to call you Conrad
rented a room
a bed for two
unlock the door as a favor
I don't want you in the dark
strobe light headache
petals where you wake
i'll draw the curtains if you paint them later
thought you might find yourself free
you're wearing six layers in a naked tree
the sex is vain, the beer is cheap
laying in the sun to cure your disease
but don't look at me
I'll look your way and lick your teeth
make your bed and made a bomb
light up just to turn you on
kissing til we're blue and black and see
for yourself I can't save what I need

flood lungs.

Is it snow that eloquently
suffocates green like poetry
hiding her eyes when the heavens detonate
or ashes confetti-like
smearing the black ink line
between a eulogy and a birthday cake?

comedy/tragedy

come inside my teepee, Johnny.
pay no mind to the bruised lovers.
your sin your soul,
i'll be the little Lo
to your Humbert Humbert
If you be Adam, I'll be Eve
I'll be the Nico to your Lou Reed
just be mine, all mine.
Lysander, wake from your dream.

chesterfield princess

I'll put my heels on
To take them off at your door
Venus in faux
To be modelled by your kitchen floor

FREE

I fell in love with all your friends
and let it burn inside of me.
Dream cameos,
so when face to face
I was red faced
and forgot to use my words.

I ran around this miserable city,
politely, burning brightly
sitting on my hands
shrugging it off
and calling it off
and changing the subject.

All of this to avoid heart break
on your side of downtown.
caring is exhausting
so now that it's settled
I think it'd be better
if you gave me permission to fuck your friends.

silly boys

I get it
I get that you drive fast
You're popular
You're in a couple hundred punk bands
and I can fit my whole hand
through what used to be your ear.

A different lamp post
a different picture of your face
folded arms
holding on with electical tape
You're good to go but you used to be a saint
or the other way around and it'll flip next year.

08

I miss climbing trees and climbing sculptures. Laying in the grass, smoking joints and singing in harmony. Coming home with stamps on our hands. Waking up with stamp-reflections on our faces. Him on my ukulele while I put on makeup in the kitchen. I drink red, you drink white. Thrashing under the hot lights, soaked in each others sweat. Our own language like we're sixteen. I miss stranger horses and pregnant pitbulls. Running up the hill as fast as we can. Dragons and worms spitting poison and I run screaming. Coloring books and broken glass in the crack den. Blowing pot smoke bubbles. Leaning on each other. I hate Jack Daniels. I miss feeling like I'm high for the first time, can't get my words out. Drenched in champagne and lawn bowling is very dangerous. I miss cap guns. Eating spinach pizza every week. Too hot for makeup. I miss being scolded. Vivaldi as the kittens climbed the curtains. Lost on an empty tank. Strawberry soymilk and I won't cry. Twisting in the living room. Tea.

puppet vultures

I read all day.
By the light of matches
and auras.
Slowly.
paying close attention
to the words that make me nervous.
which is the same as guilty
if you are anything like me.
I circle them.

There is no pattern,
dots to connect,
light to shed.
No letter, no vowel.
No sound, color.
I am afraid of almost everything.

Especially the monsters
admiring laws like french architecture
heads cocked, notes like code on the paper bags
I would rather use as puppets.

So I lit up,
and I ran
I hope you are nothing like me.



10/07

part one

I'm going to yellow your blues
I'm going to wear your shoes
I'm going to cut the noose
when you do that stupid thing you do.

I'm going to hide your pants
I'm going to need your hands
I'm going to miss my chance
If you don't take me right now right here and fast.

I'm going to take that as a joke
I'm going to pay 'cuz you're fucking broke
I'm going to leave you to your coke
leave you in the rain 'til your bones are soaked.

I'm going to say "fuck your scene".
I'm going to turn to ash your green
I'm going to slay what I can't keep
but honey, you don't look a thing like James Dean

I'm going to burn when you go down
I'm going to blow a kiss as you drown
I'm going to have you come around
when the wine is hot and the acid is brown.

I'm going whisper under Klimt
I'm going do what she didn't
I'm going to have my dope hidden
so bring a flask and a permanent pen.


05/08

birthday poem.

With my head on your shoulder
I'm so happy winter's over
you the father, I the son
but my love, don't let me settle down
eyes roll, heads roll
a mushroom bowl lit with a match

heat lamp but hands on vibrate
I'm transparent when I disassociate
so imagine who I am
when I'm in someone elses hands
it's beautiful, it's mutual
consentual prophesized heart attacks

With my head on your shoulder
aren't you happy winter's over?
Oh, I know what's in a name
but what is in a dream?
lipstick teeth, bong water doesn't stain
it's comforting, it's greek to me

Collect the chalk, the fire, the knives
I throw your way when you are sleeping
use the bottles I leave night after day
when I'm feeling like an architect
and you should take me up
and you should take me home

With my head on your shoulder
and ode-to-you songs
aren't you happy winter's over?
perhaps I loved you all along
and I can't count on the sun
when you're the beat to count me in on

I want your head on my shoulder
come down, come around, come over
to see your teeth, to force poetry
lightning storms all night and climbing trees
inevitable, I watch your hands
map out my favorite songs, my favorite bands

damn the selfish and the sober
I'm so happy winter's over
in all my happiness, in your clothes
my yellows, pinks and purples show
but I don't count on the sun
cuz you're the beat to count me in on



for Big Guy
04/08

green thread

there's two

of the two of us

but all of us are wilting

we are waltzing

and our famished heads

sewn on

by an undead romantic

03/08

happy new fears

"Nothing to see here"
"Everything to see here"
Knee deep but it feels like hell
"I'm not kissing anyone at twelve.
When I'm eating, I eat boys like you for breakfast." she said.

bruises of yours

don't you ever feel it's a bitch to sleep alone
dont you ever feel like your hands need hips to hold
don't you ever get dizzy from swinging and swinging open locked doors
tell me, what will your tongue do when lying leaves it sore
and you're lying on the floor
can't recall the name of the lay you last lured home
dont you ever long for legs to call your own



01/06

my longing doesn't sleep

take her, lock her up, make her cry
it's all frayed
make or break it down, break down
now key change
pretend it's natural, cut the ties
cut yourself up
we're friends, it's mutual, sit too far,
secret agent love.


05/08

you're not tired

Where is my right?
Hands empty, all but gravel.
so they're in the air, but fight
me. Pick me up love,
pick me up and put me in my place.
They don't know sin.
No, we're not tied.
And you're not tired.
You just miss your girlfriend.

Yes, there's a line.
To the back boy.
Where's your backbone?
I'm cold, I'll sign
away what we said.
Paint your mail black. and kill you off.
They don't know sin.
No really, you lose.
Put on your I-just-wanna-be-punk-rock shoes
and go home to your girlfriend.

I'll change my mind.
Hold your tshirt
ransom 'til you hold me.
I counted 89
and all the orchid petals
and the grass stains read like tea leaves.
They don't know shit.
We are at war.
Forfeit once more to your mistress.

idwybidwytwygf.

Lets not talk expensive,
Lets thrash to the beat of your drunken heart.
Why beg for roses,
When the kitchen table is the perfect height?
And I'm the perfect high.
"Hi,
I don't think you should think" I said,
but the guilt was hot when I touched your head.
I don't want you but I don't want you to want your girlfriend.
I don't want you but I don't want you to want your girlfriend.


07/08

mermaid bones

the need to burn anthologies
resigns for reasons hot
won't call his girlfriend up this time
my bones know he'll be caught.


07/08

your key

If I had a record player
you'd kill me
there's never really room
for more than one of us
and this is not an antique store.
it may be sad
but that only means it's true
it drags its feet
it ties a noose
the water waxes red from blue.


for J
03/08

Lion Song

I followed you down
and I believe everything
Candy said about my body.
I cut you open.
and I sighed.
and you could taste the blood in my eyes.
Don't wanna talk about walls.
Really, rather not talk at all.
But I will.
Because you want to.

If I could fight it, all G-ds know I would.
"Hey, ho, lets go", and we did because we could.
Memorize it, it's just the same C over and over again and again.
and I don't want to do it. and I don't want to think about you.

We sat around and
the sweet leaf married me.
And we danced a trip, a jive, a twist, so secretly.
They cut him open.
How am I to get you high
when I can taste the blood in your eyes?
Take the heart off your sleeve.
It's killing me.
Now, take it all off.
Because I want you.

Call him on it, but the notes to self never really get back to me.
But what do I know.
Categorize the apples and eyes, but we all need a little love.
and I can't see
how you can't see
that I will never agree to disagree.


10/07